Among my grandmother's things was a small volume of Ibsen's epigrams. In leafing through it, trying to recapture the sense of my grandmother's presence, I came across one that struck a chord; you see, my grandmother was taken from us by a series of avoidable events: she was hit by a car, in short, and it was hard not to think "if only...". Here's Ibsen's thought on this:
There is one thing in the world that could madden us all if we allowed ourselves to think of it, and that is - the thought of what might have been.
Here's another excerpt from my grandmother's reading material. She read in bed quite often, and since my grandfather's death many years ago. the extra space on her double bed had been occupied by ever-increasing numbers of books she was in the process of reading. This poem was bookmarked, and we thought it appropriate to the occasion, so it was read at her memorial service.
My retreat has come to an end,
and I think of the days that I have spent
in these surroundings.
I see an image of myself as I was when I came here
and I look at myself as I am today
at the close of the retreat.
I think of the persons and places
that have been a part of my retreat.
To each of them I speak in gratitude
and to each I say goodbye:
other places, other persons call to me
and I must go.
I think of the experiences I have had,
the graces I have been granted
in this place.
For each of these too I am grateful.
I think of the kind of life I have lived here,
the atmosphere, the daily schedule,
I say goodbye to them:
another type of life awaits me,
other graces, other experiences.
And as I say goodbye to persons,
places,
things,
events,
experiences,
and graces,
I do so under life's imperious bidding:
if I wish to be alive
I must learn to die at every moment,
that is, to say goodbye, let go, move on.
When this is done, I turn to face the future
and I say, "Welcome."
I imagine my trip from this place tomorrow
and I say, "Welcome."
I think of the work that waits for me,
the people I shall meet,
the type of life I shall be living,
the events that will take place tomorrow.
And I extend my arms in welcome
to the summons of the future.
